Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
