It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my liver is dry heaving
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
