Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
