no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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