Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
