Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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