Are we in a gay sports bar?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
