I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
