maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
