Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
