A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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