Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
