ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
