Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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