I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
