I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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