Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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