More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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