don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
