Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
