I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we're so committed to being not committed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
