Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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