You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
