i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
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