i just had sex bonerless
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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