This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You ruined the universe
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
