Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
