i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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