using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
