I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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