As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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