Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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