Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
