I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
