She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
