So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
