Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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