how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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