too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
