idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
