Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
