i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
