and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
