Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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