I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
