About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
