Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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