If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
