forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
