I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
