why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
