break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
