You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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