So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We left the knife in your bed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
